Lmao Dude Read This

A City Cop Was On His Horse
Waiting To Cross The Street When
A Little Girl On Her New Shiny Bike Stopped Beside Him.
“nice Bike,” The Cop Said “did Santa Bring It To You?” “yep,”
The Little Girl Said, “he Sure Did!” The Cop Looked The Bike
Over And Handed The Girl A $5 Ticket For A Safety Violation.
the Cop Said, “next Year Tell Santa
To Put A Reflector Light On The Back Of It.”
The Young Girl Looked Up At The Cop And Said,
“nice Horse You Got There Sir, Did Santa Bring It To You?”
“yes, He Sure Did,” Chuckled The Cop.
The Little Girl Looked Up At The Cop And Said,
“next Year Tell Santa The Dick Goes Underneath The Horse,
Not On Top.”


Christmas Party

At Last Years Employee
Christmas Party I Was With My Wife
And Got Drunk Told People What I Thought Of Them.
The Next Day When I Woke Up I Asked My Wife How The Party Was? And She Say’s You Dont Remember?
No! She Then Say’s Well You Got Pretty
Drunk And Told The Boss What You Thought Of Him.
I Say Yeah What Did He Do? He Said Your Fired!
I Said Fuckem She Says I Did You Start Back Monday……..
Ex-wife Now


How An Angel Got 2 B On Top Of The Tree

This One Year Santa Was Having A Very Bad Day.
His Wife Didn’t Give Him None,
He Had A Hangover From The Night Before,
Non Of The Elves Were On Schedule,
The Kids Were All Bitching And Whining And Unappreciative.
He Went To Have A Drink But All The Liqure Was Gone,
Everyone Was Demanding That He Do Something,
The House Was A Mess And He Stubbed His Toe On A Broken
Toy And So He Started To Cuss And Shout And He Was Really Pissed. Just Then The Doorbell Rang And It Was An Angel With A Beautiful New Christmas Tree.
“where Should I Put This Santa?”


Holiday Nuts!

Holiday Nuts!

schizophrenia – Do You Hear What I Hear?

multiple Personality Disorder – We Three Kings Disoriented Are

dementia – I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas

narcissistic – Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

manic – Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Offices And
towns And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And…

paranoid – Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

borderline Personality – Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

obsessive Compulsive – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…………..