Amish Virus

You Have Just Received The Amish Virus.
Since The Amish Don’t Use Computers It Is
Based On The Honor System.
Please Delete All Of The Files And Folders From Your Computer.

thank You For Your Cooperation.

A Client Once Asked

A Client Once Asked Me To Look At His Computer.
He Said It Was Running So Slow When He Went Into
A Barely 18 Porn Site.
By The Time It Loaded Up The Girls Were In The Mature Site.

Girls are like an internet virus

Girls are like an internet virus:

They enter your life,

Scan your pockets,

Transfer your money,

Edit your mind,

Download their problems and

Delete your smile

So please download the software SayNoToGirls.
EXE to save your life otherwise the hardisk of
your heart may crash.

Is There a Floppy Inside?

Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer.
I urgently need to print document but the computer
won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

copy & PASTE

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Santa Singh gets an email

Santa Singh got this email from a friend:

CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?

Internet is very helpful

Guy 1: “How’s your history paper coming?”

Guy 2: “Well, my history professor suggested that
I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful.

Guy 1: “Really?”

Guy 2: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”

Types of Woman

HARD-DISK woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her,
she comes,installs herself and uses all your resources.
If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,
if you don’t you will lose everything!!

Customer & Tech support

Customer: Hi, this is Celine.
I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn’t sound good, I’ll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet,
It’s still on my desk. Sorry….

full disk

Santa and Banta work in a software company.
One day, they were to move their m/cs to another
building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.

Santa : “My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how
easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB.
Can’t you carry even this much?”

Banta : “But yours is empty and my disk is full”!!!