Tumhari hai

Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

Ek tha Raja

Ek tha Raja…

Ek thi Rani…

Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.

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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho???
Bola na kahani khatam.

apni naak saaf kar lo

Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath
nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi
achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum
ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?”
Boy and girl in a car
“Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha.
Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath
se apni naak saaf kar lo.”

naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare

Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya
ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare.
servant
Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…
“sahebji sahebji kutteji ne murgiji ko pakar liya hai.”

done-dana-dan

Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya
or karta hi gaya.”
Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.

aap papa ban gaye

Nurse: Congrats Pappu ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Pappu: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Main toh aaya hi nahi tha

Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.
Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”

gabbar aa jayega

Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.
Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se
keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.

Shewag is an opener

Question: Dhoni asks Rohit to bring a Pepsi.
Rohit brings the bottle, but takes it directly
to Shewag.

Why?
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Ans: Because Shewag is an opener.

khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha

Husband: Sir, meri wife gumm ho gayi hai.
Postmaster: Bhai yeh postoffice hai.
Ja ke policestation mein complaint likhao.
Husband: Kya karun…,
khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha…