What’s black and white and red all over?
A Pilgrim with a rash!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn’t get the moose in the oven!
Why did the turkey eat his meal so quickly?
Because he was a gobbler.
What was the main thing
the Pilgrims did during the first winter?
Starve.
Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving?
Because everything is marked down after the holidays.
What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
“Pleased to eat you!”
What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?
“Peck” on someone your own size!
What do you get after
eating way too much turkey and dressing?
Dessert, of course!
Two pilgrims go out hunting.
One has two blunderbusses (guns).
The second pilgrim asks,
“Why do you have two blunderbusses?â€
The first pilgrim explains,
“I usually miss the first time I shoot.
By taking two I can shoot againâ€.
The second pilgrim thinks for a while and then says,
“Why not just take the second one, and only shoot once?â€
What do you get if you cross
a pointy black hat and some leftover turkey?
A Witch-bone
What would you get if you crossed
a turkey with an evil spirit?
A poultrygeist!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes – a building can’t jump at all.
What always comes at the end of Thangsgiving?
The letter G!
A lady was picking through
the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
A palgrim.
Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language.
How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
He was very thinkful.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to squeeze him in!
