How An Angel Got 2 B On Top Of The Tree

This One Year Santa Was Having A Very Bad Day.
His Wife Didn’t Give Him None,
He Had A Hangover From The Night Before,
Non Of The Elves Were On Schedule,
The Kids Were All Bitching And Whining And Unappreciative.
He Went To Have A Drink But All The Liqure Was Gone,
Everyone Was Demanding That He Do Something,
The House Was A Mess And He Stubbed His Toe On A Broken
Toy And So He Started To Cuss And Shout And He Was Really Pissed. Just Then The Doorbell Rang And It Was An Angel With A Beautiful New Christmas Tree.
“where Should I Put This Santa?”

The Christmas Holidays

In All My Years,
There Is One Thing I’ve
Learned About The Christmas Holidays!
Liquor Works Better Than Mistletoe . . . .

Holiday Nuts!

Holiday Nuts!

schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

dementia - I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas

narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

manic - Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Offices And
towns And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And…

paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…………..

Amish Virus

You Have Just Received The Amish Virus.
Since The Amish Don’t Use Computers It Is
Based On The Honor System.
Please Delete All Of The Files And Folders From Your Computer.

thank You For Your Cooperation.

A Client Once Asked

A Client Once Asked Me To Look At His Computer.
He Said It Was Running So Slow When He Went Into
A Barely 18 Porn Site.
By The Time It Loaded Up The Girls Were In The Mature Site.

Girls are like an internet virus

Girls are like an internet virus:

They enter your life,

Scan your pockets,

Transfer your money,

Edit your mind,

Download their problems and

Delete your smile

So please download the software SayNoToGirls.
EXE to save your life otherwise the hardisk of
your heart may crash.

Is There a Floppy Inside?

Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer.
I urgently need to print document but the computer
won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

copy & PASTE

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Santa Singh gets an email

Santa Singh got this email from a friend:

CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?

Internet is very helpful

Guy 1: “How’s your history paper coming?”

Guy 2: “Well, my history professor suggested that
I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful.

Guy 1: “Really?”

Guy 2: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”