HARD-DISK woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
INTERNET woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER woman:Always busy when you need her.
CD-ROM woman:She is always faster and faster.
EMAIL woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman:Also called “wifeâ€; when you are not expecting her,
she comes,installs herself and uses all your resources.
If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,
if you don’t you will lose everything!!
Customer: Hi, this is Celine.
I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good, I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it yet,
It’s still on my desk. Sorry….
Santa and Banta work in a software company.
One day, they were to move their m/cs to another
building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : “My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how
easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB.
Can’t you carry even this much?â€
Banta : “But yours is empty and my disk is fullâ€!!!
Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City.
One is holding a cross and one a Star of David.
Both are holding hats to collect contributions.
People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the
Star of David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross.
Soon the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the
hat of the man with the star of David is empty.
A priest watches and then approaches the men. He turns to
the man with the Star of David and says: “Young man.
Don’t you realize that this is a Catholic country?
You’ll never get any contributions in this country holding
a Star of David.”
The man with the Star of David turns to the man with the
cross and says: “Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is
trying to tell us how to run our business?”
“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies,
“and God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support
children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancée.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the
father questions, the young idealist insists that God
will provide.
Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”
The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the
good news is he thinks I’m God.”
young woman brings home her
fiancée to meet her parents.
After dinner, her mother tells
her father to find out about the young man.
The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.
“I am a Torah scholar,” he replies.
“A Torah scholar. Hmm.” the father says.
“Admirable, but what will you do to provide a
nice house for my daughter to live in as she’s accustomed to?”
“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will
provide for us.”
“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such
as she deserves?” asks the father.
Q: How many internet mail list
subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
What goes round the middle of the Internet?
The e-quator.
What do you call someone who
spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?
Anything you like, they’re not listening to you anyway.
I hear you’ve been tracing your ancestors on the internet…
Yes – and it’s a mammoth task!
Do you want some help using the Internet, son?
No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.
